Once Upon a Time
by fire mystic
Summary: Thanks to Yuffie, Reno and his family find themselves living fairy tales instead of simply reading them. ReTi for The Sacred and Profane.


_For The Sacred and Profane. _

_I was sorely tempted to let Yuffie be the witch, but I wasn't sure if she would survive Reno shoving her into the oven (you'll know what I mean when you get there). I think I showed remarkable restraint! _

_I neither own nor profit from ffvii or its characters. Elly belongs to The Sacred and Profane and is used with permission; Thank you for letting me borrow her!_

_Enjoy._

_fire mystic_

Once Upon a Time

It was all Yuffie's fault. Reno was sure of it, and if he ever got out of this place, he was going to make the ninja swallow the next ball of materia she showed up with.

It had been so simple. It had started as a pleasant evening. Tifa had been curled up at his side on the couch, while Elly was curled up in his lap with her feet resting on her mother. It was one of Elly's favorite things to do, curl up in Reno's lap and often she would crawl up to put her head on his shoulder and fall sleep that way.

Tonight, though, Elly had suddenly jumped off his lap and gone to her bedroom, coming back a few minutes later with her favorite book of fairy tales in hand. She dropped the book in her mothers lap and climbed back up on Reno; this was her cue that she wanted a story. Tifa, with a smile, picked up the book and opened to the table of contents.

"Hmm. So what story will we read tonight?"

She started reading through the table of contents, which had all the classics: Little Red Riding Hood, Three Little Pigs, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty.

That's when the doorbell rang.

Reno shuffled Elly to her mother's lap so they could continue choosing their fairy tale, and went to answer the door.

And in walked trouble.

Yuffie bound past Reno before he had the door halfway open. She talking a mile a minute, but about what Reno couldn't be sure, nor did he really care. Closing the door behind him, he followed her to the living room, where she was prancing around in front of Tifa, waving her arms, and babbling on and on.

"You have to see it, Tifa! I have to find out what it does. I've never seen one like it before!"

With that proclamation, she reached into her cloak and exuberantly presented them all with a glowing ball of swirling materia that was…striped neon orange and lime green? It was hideous, and Reno felt like he was stuck in a psychedelic light show.

As Yuffie extended her hand to give them all a closer look, the ball bounced off the palm of her hand and into the open book on Tifa's lap. Tifa startled, but the materia immediately started to melt into the book's table of contents, and those colors were now reaching out into the room in great arcs of light, and as if stuck in a nightmare, Reno watched as the people around him, Tifa, Elly, and even Yuffie, were grabbed up by the swimming light and sucked down into the book, and as the world narrowed to a strange pinpoint of darkness at the end of the tunnel of all that sickening color, Reno realized he was also being pulled in by the magic.

And that's how he ended up here, of all places, in the dark, with a lot of yelling and shouting going on outside. He made his way to the small window and did a double take at what he saw.

"…or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

Oh, no! That was not a wolf, a talking wolf at that, threatening to…Reno took in his surroundings quickly. The wolf was standing in front of a house a small distance away. A house made of sticks. And he could here the squealing of a…pig?

A horrible thought occurred to Reno, as he stood at the window, glancing at the frame, realizing it was made of brick. When he looked down, he knew what he was going to find.

Yes, plump and fat, he was indeed a pig, and when he opened his mouth to soundly curse Yuffie out, all that came out was a string of squealing and snorting.

Okay, that wasn't very helpful. Think, think, think; how did this one end? While he thought it was adorable when Tifa read to Elly, he wasn't always very attentive to the details. He was too busy paying attention to Tifa and Elly together, Tifa making the different voices and sounds, and Elly either very seriously listening, or asking questions with wide-eyed wonder, or giggling at her mother's acting.

Now he wished he had been paying attention.

Okay. Three Little Pigs; he knew that one, knew that one pig survived, the one in the brick house.

He ran a hand down the wall, just to be sure; yes it was brick, so all he had to do for the time being was wait this out.

The wolf finally came to his house, huffing and puffing and finding he couldn't blow the house down, and just as he had arrived, Reno was sucked into a vortex of color. When he opened his eyes again, he was in the living room of another house, standing next to a baby bear.

The baby bear looked up at him and spoke.

"Daddy?"

Reno recognized the voice Elly used when she was helping Tifa with her story voices, being the baby bear.

"Yes, baby. It's me." Something pawed at his arm, and Reno turned to find another bear, bigger than Elly but smaller than him, standing at his other side.

"Reno, what are we supposed to do?"

It was Tifa, doing her best to conceal her panic.

"It's okay, Tifa. I think we should try acting out the fairy tales. Eventually the materia has to wear off."

"And if not?"

It felt strange when he shrugged, and he looked down. Yep. He was Papa Bear.

"We worry about that when the time comes."

Tifa still looked concerned, but she when along with it.

"Okay. Elly, we're going to play a little game. We're going to act out the fairy tales just like when Mommy reads them to you. Ready?" She paused, taking a breath, and said: "Look! Someone's been sitting in my chair!" Her voice was much more real than when she was just reading. Reno followed her cue.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair, too."

Elly piped up. "Someone's been sitting in my chair, too, and they broke it!"

They proceeded to the bedroom, and repeated the process, and sure enough found Goldilocks sleeping in Elly's baby bear bed.

Goldilocks, performed by none other than our favorite ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi, sat up in the bed rubbing her eyes, and looked directly at them.

"What's going on?" She asked, all innocence.

Reno stepped forward, recognizing his chance to get even with the ninja.

"I'll tell you what's going on. You and your materia dragged us into this fairy tale nightmare, and now we're the Three Bears, and if you don't start running, you're gonna be lunch!"

Yuffie had all of three seconds to realize what Reno was saying before she bolted, dodging between them and out of the house. They followed, but by the time they reached the front door, the world was turning orange and lime green again.

When Reno woke this time, he was fairly certain he was human again, and he had a firm hold of a tiny hand, except it wasn't as tiny as it should have been. Turning his head, he found Elly beside him, only slightly shorter than him, staring at him with a silly grin on her face.

"Daddy, you're small!" And she was right. He was her size, and when he spoke, his voice was that of a young boy.

"Yeah, but I bet I still give the best piggy back rides." They were in a small, dark room that was damp and cold. "Where are we?"

Elly looked through a little crack in the wall and started trembling. "Oh no, Daddy, we're at the witches house."

Witches house? Reno thought back over the fairy tales, remembering there was one in particular that always scared Elly.

Hansel and Gretel.

Elly was starting to cry, and Reno knew that he was not going to, could not, let Elly push the witch into the stove. He'd have to do some fast talking, and hope that altering the fairy tale wouldn't cause catastrophic results.

He heard someone at the door, and pushed Elly behind him, determined to keep her safe.

"Whatever happens Elly, you stay in here and stay quiet till Daddy comes to get you, okay?"

The witch opened the door and Reno kept his distance relying on the witch's bad eyesight for his deception to work. Pitching his voice high, he pretended to be Gretel, and, thankfully, the witch was fooled. He followed her instructions, filling the kettle with water, and then the witch ordered him into the oven.

"I don't know how." He responded in his high girlish voice. "How do I get in?"

A few seconds later, he slammed the door shut on the witch, and then raced back to the shed to grab Elly, hoping there would be enough time to get to her before they were separated again. He got back to her just as the world started spinning.

"Take my hand, Elly, and don't let go." Tifa hadn't been with them when they got to this fairy tale, and Reno was fairly certain it was because he had been holding Elly's hand, but not Tifa's.

They woke in another world, standing in a small outdoor market. While Reno didn't recognize this story, he was relieved to find he was at least himself, though his clothes were strange and his hair was short. He hoped that would not be a permanent effect!

"Elly, honey." He squatted down next to the little girl. "You have to help me. What story is this?"

Elly was completely confused for a second, and then started walking towards a man who was telling a story to a group of children. She listened intently to the story, blending in perfectly with the other children. Finally, a smile spread across her face, and she ran back to her father.

"I know where we are! We have to find the castle hidden by the rose bushes!" She took his hand and started dragging him down the street. They found it in a matter of fifteen minutes, and Elly began to look for a way through.

"We have to get through, Daddy. We have to save the princess!"

Reno had no idea what Elly was talking about. He didn't recognize any of this at all, but Elly was very excited, and if there was a possibility Tifa was here, he was all for it. He searched until he found a way through the hedge, and was astounded to find a castle, frozen in time, behind the wall of thorns. He didn't have much time to look, though, as Elly was dragging him by his hand as she raced through the castle as fast as she could, finding the stairs to the tower, and climbing to the very top chamber. She pushed open the door, and Reno stepped in behind her.

Tifa lay on the bed, sleeping, and as always, Reno was struck by how beautiful she was. He approached the bed, calling her name softly. When she didn't wake, he shook her shoulders. Still no response, and Reno started to fear the worst. He stopped shaking her and listened, watched her; no, she wasn't breathing.

This was not allowed. A tear slid down his face.

A small hand took his and squeezed.

"Don't cry Daddy. It's not for real."

He turned to Elly, whose little cheeks were turning bright red with embarrassment as she leaned close and whispered, conspiratorially.

"You have to kiss her Daddy."

Reno wiped the tear away, asking Elly, very seriously, "Are you sure?"

Elly nodded, smiling brightly.

"The prince finds Sleeping Beauty and wakes her with a kiss."

He could deal with that.

Reno took hold of Elly's hand. If this worked, he was not going to lose her to another fairy tale because he was careless. With his other hand, he raised Tifa's head, whispered "please let this work", and with all the love he had for her, with all the desperate hope he had that this would work and that their world would return to normal, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers in a tender, passionate kiss.

Vertigo consumed him. He held on to Tifa and Elly, and when he broke the kiss and opened his eyes, Tifa was laying on the couch, their couch, looking up at him, and Elly was kneeling beside him.

"You did it, Daddy. You brought us home!" Elly threw her arms around him as she tried to climb on top of Tifa.

"Dang! That was some ride!"

Reno's eyes narrowed at the all too familiar and unwelcome voice behind him. He turned slowly as he got to his feet.

Yuffie was sprawled upside down in the reclining chair behind him, her feet sticking up in the air, her head hanging over the seat.

"You!" When he reached her, he picked her up by her ninja robe and carried her to the door, ignoring her indignant kicking and girlish screeching. He opened the door and dumped her unceremoniously out onto the doorstep.

"You are never to bring an unknown materia into this house again. You understand me? Or I will find a family of bears to feed you to, or…" he was reminded of the witch, "an oven to stuff you into."

Before she could respond, he slammed the door and returned to the living room where Tifa and Elly were waiting, giggling at his outburst.

"Now what?" he asked, crossing the room and hugging his family to him, grateful to be home.

"What happens at the end of all fairy tales, of course," Tifa responded, sharing an amused expression with Elly.

Reno raised a brow, looking from one to the other, clearly not catching on.

"What's that?" He was almost afraid to ask.

The two giggled before they answered in unison.

"We all live happily ever after!"


End file.
